Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Randomize
