Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Randomize
