how hairy? two words: wookie tits
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
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