i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
