its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
Randomize
