she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize