I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Randomize
