no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
Randomize
