I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
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