He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
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