she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
