he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
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