So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
