I just made out with a guy for $7.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
Randomize
