You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
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