He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Randomize
