Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
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