After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
Randomize
