She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
