so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Randomize
