If i come over, it means nothing
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
No subtext here. People are naked.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
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