Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
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