Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
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