You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
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