I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us�
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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