2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
