hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
