A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
Boobs speak an international language.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
Randomize
