Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
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