it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
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