that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Randomize
