why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
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