do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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