he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
