they need to just BURY HIM!
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
Randomize
