You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
