I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
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