24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
He better not be in your backpack
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
Randomize
