my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
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