i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
