I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
Randomize
