I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
