i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Randomize
