is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
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