3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
