apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
Randomize
