I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
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