pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
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