Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
Randomize
