he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
