Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
Too much dab too little lung dying 😵😵😵
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
Randomize
